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Family Law

3 Misconceptions About Divorce

Amanda C. CookAttorney at Law and Mediator

Ross InCommunity Magazine, 2016

When someone contemplates divorce, it seems that everyone gives his or her two cents. But rarely is this information helpful. These are just 3 of the common misconceptions about divorce:

It MUST be very expensive!!!!
Wrong! A divorce, even when it involves a home, children, debt and other issues, does NOT HAVE to be costly. Two reasonable parties with reasonable attorneys can easily come to an agreement on all of the issues surrounding a divorce, such as dividing the marital assets and debts, securing a custody schedule and deciding appropriate child and/or alimony payments. Court intervention, along with its high costs, is unnecessary when the parties can agree. Not only will agreeing to reasonable terms save thousands of dollars but it will allow these parties, who are often parents, to maintain some semblance of a relationship for the sake of their children. Everybody wins!
You should get precisely what your friend/sister/cousin/neighbor received.
Wrong! Everybody's situation is different. Even if it appears that your circumstances are exactly the same as your cousin, Michael's, they are not. When your neighbor, Barbara, explains that she received the marital residence, all the bank accounts, alimony for 12 years and sole custody of the children, know that her outcome means absolutely nothing for your case. Nothing!! When the Court divides the marital property, it considers 11 different factors. It contemplates 16 factors for custody and 17 factors for alimony. Child support is based on a complex formula which takes into account the incomes of the parties and many different expenses. When the Court applies all of these factors to different sets of circumstances, it is obviously going to come up with vastly different outcomes. And sometimes the court had nothing to do with your fellow soccer parent's "good deal". It could just be that his or her ex-spouse agreed to it. So, avoid non-legal divorce advice. Contact an attorney and find out your actual rights.
The children have to be with one parent or the other.
Wrong! If there are two willing and able parents and there are no major barriers such as great distance or drug abuse, the Court often awards equally shared custody to the parties. Many judges believe that it is in the best interest of the children to spend substantial time with both parents. And, the studies are showing that they are right. Children benefit from building solid relationships with both parents. And, though it might not seem like it now, most parents grow to enjoy having some kid-free time.

If you get to a place where divorce seems like the only solution, contact an attorney and learn more about your rights.

About the Author

Amanda C. Cook

Amanda C. Cook focuses her practice on family law — divorce, support, child custody, and the division of assets and debts. She is an experienced collaborative law attorney and mediator, and has practiced with the firm since 2005.

Full profile

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